My Son, My Son
by Pineapple Angel 14
Summary: A "what if" moment from the episode, My Son, My Son. Based on the line from Nick: "If he'd moved a couple inches we'd be burying him!" SO...what if Heath HAD moved a couple of inches? Here's what could've happened! Rated just to be safe! Character Death. Be warned, it's a tearjerker!


**AN: Hello, friends! This is my first attempt at a Big Valley fanfic, as I am a moderately new fanfiction writer, and a relatively new Big Valley fan, but I'll try to represent myself well. As an author, I love stories with lots of injury and 'whump' in it, which makes Big Valley such a good show for me! Heck, in almost every episode, there's at least a fist fight, let alone shootings, sickness, and other things….SO, one of my favorite things to do, while writing is take up "what-if" scenarios from real episodes…like: "what if he hadn't ducked, when the bullet was coming" or "what if they hadn't seen that the snake was poisonous" or "what if they didn't have back up when they were ambushed?" SO…this time, I'd like to do the scene from "My Son, My Son" in which Heath is shot. This story was perfectly set up by the line afterwards, when Nick says: "If he'd moved a couple of inches, we'd be burying him!" so….the devious blood loving monster inside of me, insisted that I'd write this story! Enjoy! WARNING: Character Death! Tearjerker! (maybe)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of The Big Valley! It belongs to it's creators,writers, and producers. **

**Note: Yes, the beginning lines and actions are the same exact things from in the script, so I don't own that either! **

Heath and Nick rode up on their horses to the property line, facing the crowd of opposing workers, with guns. The men saw the Barkleys riding up, and alerted each other.

"Here they come!" One shouted.

"Grab your rifles!" Another hollered.

The brothers halted their horses at the gate, looking down at the line of 7 men, armed with rifles. "Wally? I understand you're holding three of our cows!" Nick yelled at the man who had been his friend.

"That's right. They _were_ your cows!" Wally retorted.

"Send 'em back!" Nick said back.

"Not a chance!" Wally shook his head. "They busted down our fence! They'll be held for damages!"

Nick leaned forward in his saddle. "Now don't be stupid! Those cows are our property! You send 'em back, or we'll come in and get them!"

"You cross that line and we'll start shootin'," threatened Wally.

Nick glared at Wally, then glanced to Heath. Together, they slid off their horses, hitting the ground at the same time. Evan, Wally's son, glanced nervously from his father to the men that he hated. He hated the Barkleys, especially Heath, for embarrassing him at Audra's birthday party, when he attacked her and almost molested her. He wished that they were dead.

The brothers walked softly to the barbed wire fence, and lightly tied their horses to the wire.

"Don't come any closer, Nick. I'm warning you!" Wally shouted to the silent pair.

After a quick nod to each other, Nick and Heath ignored the warning and swiftly stepped into the field. Wally sighed, raised his rifle, and fired onto the ground, by Nick's boots. The men followed suit, each firing a shot, aimed at their feet, attempting to scare them off. The pair kept advancing silently. Wally shot off his second shot, starting the second round of bullets. Evan was tired of trying to scare them off. He glanced quickly and rose his rifle higher, aiming towards the men, themselves, and shot off his bullet quickly.

Heath gave a small groan as he grasped his chest with his arm and fell backwards. Nick shot a terrified glance at him, and back to the firing line, and slid to his knees under his falling brother. Heath fell softly moaning onto the ground, and Nick pulled him gently into his lap. Heath kept his hand tightly over his center and curled in pain. The shooting ceased as the pair huddled on the ground. Wally lowered his rifle arm, and stepped forward in shock. He threw his gun to the ground and slowly jogged forward, to the brothers.

"HEATH!?" Nick screamed in shock as he yanked Heath's hand away from his chest, to find a bloody shirt front and a small hole gushing from the center. Heath continued to moan softly as his face contorted in pain.

Wally dropped to his knees at the sight and his voice quavered as he spoke. "No! Heath!? Forgive me boy!" He looked up tearfully at the angry Nick, who was attempting to stop the bleeding with his bandana. "I swear to you Nick! I only meant to warn you off my land!" Nick glared at him with contempt as he grit his teeth and tried to control his wave of anger. Wally hit a realization and turned to his men. "Where'd that shot come from!? Where'd it come from!?" Evan gave a half smile that couldn't be seen by his father, but he was happy. By the tone of his father's voice, he had hit Heath badly.

Nick looked up, and even through the distance, caught the smile and glared, knowingly at the young man. He glanced back down at Heath and could practically see the life draining out of him. "Wally! I need a wagon now! We've got to get him to a doctor, fast!"

Wally turned from the men, to see Nick frantically wiping blood from his brother's body. "One of you men ride for the doctor! Send 'em over to the Barkley ranch!"

One man nodded, tossed down his rifle, hopped on a horse and sped away. The remaining men, except for Evan, hurried towards the fallen Barkley. One man scurried to the nearby wagon, and steered it over to the shooting site. A few men knelt with Nick, over Heath, and prepared to lift him in the wagon.

"N-nick?" Heath gave an airy gasp as he finally made a motion in realizing the situation.

"Heath! I'm right here! You're going to be fine, brother. I'm gonna get you home now, you just hold on little brother." Nick held his brother close in his arms and propped him up, to be hoisted.

"Aaaugh…Nick…don't think…gonna…make it….mother…" Heath whimpered in pain as the men lifted him, gently into the wagon. Nick hopped in beside him and again propped up his head in his lap. A blanket was produced, as well as some linens to use as bandages. Nick ripped Heath's tan shirt open and pushed his brown vest aside. He crumpled the linen cloths and pressed them into Heath's bloody chest. Heath moaned in pain, loudly, and suddenly clutched Nick's gloved hands in his quavering ones. "Nick? Hurts…..Am I gonna die, Nick?"

Nick let a single tear fall through his tough demeanor and rush down his cheek. "No! Heath you just hang on, brother! I'm taking you home, and you'll be fine, d'ya hear me!? You're gonna be fine!" Nick lowered his head and muttered to himself, "You have to be…"

Wally turned from his perch, next to Nick in the wagon, to his left over men. "You! Ride out after Jarrod! He took the stage this morning to San Fransisco! If you cut through the hills and ride like the wind, you can catch up with them. He needs to get home…."

The man, who he addressed, nodded and jumped onto the fastest horse and dug in his spurs. He shot off like lightning. "Now, take us to the Barkley house. Go as fast as you can, but still take it easy, alright?" The wagon started off at a fast speed and the men traveled closer to home. They were already on the property line, so they were close, but maybe not close enough.

A half hour later…In the Barkley Home….

Heath was carried into the house quickly by Nick, Wally and two other men. Victoria went to open the door, and screamed in shock when she saw them with Heath draped between them, completely soaked in blood. "HEATH!? No! Nick what happened!?"

"Mother? What's wrong mother?" Audra came racing down the wide stair way, having heard her mother yell, she had been awoken from a long nap. She was halfway down the stairs when she saw Victoria standing with her hand over her mouth and tears running down her face, watching Nick and the other men carrying her wounded brother. "Heath!? Mother!?" Audra flew down the rest of the way and ran to her mother. The two stood sobbing, together as the men carried Heath, quickly, up to his room.

Halfway up the stairs, upon hearing his mother and sister crying, Heath cried out to Victoria. "Mother? Audra?"

Even though they were a distance apart, Victoria heard the faint moan and ran up to answer him. She passed up the men and came to his side, gently caressing his pale face with her hand. "Sh…Heath..it's going to be alright….you're going to be just fine! Now stay calm, son." She tried to be brave and hold back the tears, as she walked beside her son, but she found that it was too hard, so she let them fall anyway. The men carried Heath into his room and gently laid him on his bed, after pulling off the ruined shirt and vest. Victoria emidiately went into action, trying to cleanse the wound and press fresh bandages on, to slow the bleeding…but they were fighting a losing battle.

Downstairs, Audra was still standing by the front door, as the doctor came through the door. He ran into her and tried to hush her crying, to ask her a question. "Aw….sh….honey…I'm so sorry…Now, Audra…which one of your brother's is it? I was just told one of the 'Barkley Boys' was shot in some property disagreement. Who is Audra?" The Doctor pleaded with her, before heading up.

"Heath…and it's awful bad…Mother's up their now, in his room, with Nick and some other men…" Audra sobbed.

The doctor nodded and ran up the stairs, passing Wally and his men on their way down. While the doctor disappeared upstairs, Wally approached Audra on his way out. "Oh, dearie, I'm so sorry for what happened to your brother…Heath is a mighty fine boy and I sure hope he pulls through. Understand, honey, that this was an accident! I wasn't trying to get him shot! Somebody just aimed to high…I'm sorry…" The men headed out of the door and drove off in their wagon. A few minutes later, after Audra had closed the door and sat down on the bottom step, Nick came down, reluctantly. He explained to his sister that he had been kicked out, to give the doctor room to work, and Victoria had stayed to help them both. He sat down with her and softly caressed Heath's white sandy colored hat that had been dropped on the way in.

Meanwhile, a distance outside of the ranch….

The rider that Wally had sent was riding with great speed, not expecting to come across the stage for a while, but he slowed his horse suddenly, when he saw the stage pulled over to the side, and all of the passengers standing nearby, and wandering in the fields. "Woah…boy.." The rider slid off of his horse and ran up to the coach. "Mr. Barkley? Jarrod Barkley?" The man was fairly new to the valley and had never met Jarrod, before, so he didn't know who to speak to.

Jarrod, who had been helping the driver repair the broken wheel that had stopped them turned around. "Yes? I'm Jarrod Barkley. Who's asking?"

"Oh, Mr. Barkley, I'm one of the hired hands at the Miles ranch," the man began. "My name is Seth…"

"Miles? Oh goodness…what have my brothers got into this time? More trouble?" Jarrod shook his head with a laugh.

"Yes, sir…I'm afraid so…you see one of your brothers….he's been shot…"

"SHOT!? What happened?" Jarrod grabbed the man's jacket and shook him.

"Three of your cows had knocked down a fence and crossed the property line, and Mr. Miles was holding them for damages, while we fixed the fence. Your brothers rode up to where we were fixing the fence and demanded to get the cows back, or they would come over and get them. Mr. Miles said that if they came over, they'd start shooting, but your brothers didn't listen. The one who was talking, he looked kinda mean and hard, he looked at the other one, and they both jumped off their horses, and slowly walked through the gap in the fence. Mr. Miles took a shot towards their feet, as a warning, and we all followed his example. But they weren't scared…so Mr. Miles started the second round of shots, and he fired, then somebody else, but either he misfired, or he was aiming at your brother, 'cause he hit the quiet one square in his chest. He went down silent like and the other one started yelling at him…we stopped shooting, Mr. Miles went over and checked it out, then he told someone to ride for the doctor and told me to get you, 'cause he thought you needed to be there…it didn't look good Mr. Barkley."

"Oh no! But he was alive when you saw him last right?" Jarrod received a nod. "What was he wearing, the one who was shot?" Jarrod could tell from the description of who was being quiet and who was being loud, who had been shot, but he had to be sure.

"Um…I couldn't see to well…but it looked like he had a tan vest, and a nice white hat…the other one…I remember Mr. Miles calling him, Nick…he had a black hat and vest on…I'm sorry Mr. Barkley, you'd better hurry…I think that Mr. Miles thought he might die…" Seth hung his head sadly towards Jarrod.

"Heath….no…I don't have a horse!" Jarrod glanced around nervously.

The stage driver came up behind them and laid a hand on Jarrod's shoulder. "Take one of the driving horses, it'll be a while before I get the wheel fixed, and then I'll be fine without one horse. I heard everything Jarrod, I'm sorry, Heath's a good friend to all of us, I hope he makes it. Go on, take the horse."

Jarrod nodded and ran to unhitch one of the horses. "Where did they take him?" He shouted over his shoulder, as he jumped onto the bare back of a horse.

"Um, your house, on the ranch! You'd better hurry, Mr. Barkley…" Seth bid him farewell and Jarrod yelled at the horse, galloping off into the distance at lightning speed.

An hour later at the house..

Nick and Audra paced nervously around the entryway of the house, glancing up the stairs every few seconds. They were getting panicky as they had not heard anything in an hour and they were deeply concerned. Nick still held Heath's hat close to him, and was quietly muttering about how he was sure that Heath would be ok, and why hadn't the doctor told them anything and how he was going to kill Evan for shooting Heath. Nick's patience finally broke as he slammed his fist into a table and cursed out loudly. "Why doesn't he let us see him!? What's going on up there! So help me I'm going to kill that boy for shooting him!"  
Audra looked sadly at her brother, but while deciding whether or not to interfere, she heard a commotion upstairs. "Nick! Be quiet! Something's happening!"

Suddenly there was a lot of shouting, mainly from Victoria, and then just as suddenly, all was silent. Then, after a muffled sob, they heard her loud and clear. "HEATH!? NO!"

"No….no…he can't be…" Nick's eyes widened as they gaped up at the door that led to their brother. "come on, we're going up there!" Nick let Heath's hat fall to the ground as he grabbed the already crying, Audra, and they ran up the stairs and into Heath's bedroom.

The sight that met their eyes confirmed their fears, and broke their hearts. A few feet away from them, lay a pale, bloody, and shirtless Heath. Victoria was draped over him, crying and shaking him, desperately. The doctor bent over her, with a tear in his own eye, trying to make her let go of him. Then, Nick and Audra knew that it was over.

Heath was dead.

Audra screamed and dove to her knees by Victoria and Heath. She too cried and with one hand on her mother and the other on Heath, she also tried to revive Heath. The usually hard and brave, Nick, broke down. He let out a pained sob as he too went to his mother, sister, and brother. The doctor stepped aside, letting them cry through the moment. Nick, sadly pulled the women away from the body, and the three living Barkley's sat in a huddle, holding each other close and crying.

Meanwhile, outside….

Jarrod jumped off of the borrowed horse seconds after it stopped. He ran into the house, and into the front foyer. He saw Heath's white hat laying at the base of the stairs, and bent to pick it up. He glanced around, and suddenly became aware of the loud sobbing upstairs. "No! Heath!?" Jarrod hugged the hat close to him and ran up the stairs, scaling them, 2 at a time. He ran into the room that's door was flung open already. He saw his mother, Nick, and Audra sitting in a bunch crying to each other, and then looked up to see Heath's body lying on the bed, and the doctor standing close by. It was clear that Heath had just died. Jarrod stumbled, gasping in shock as he looked down at the treasured hat of his brother and the first tear rolled down his cheek, off of the tip of his nose, and fell onto the hat with a silent plop. He knelt down with his family and cried with them.

In a few minutes, the sobbing was hushed to a few quiet sniffs and an occasional teary hiccup. Somewhere in the embrace, Victoria had taken the hat and was caressing it gently in her arms, with a small smile, thinking of all the times that Heath had worn this hat, and how much he had loved it. Audra sat close to the bed, tentatively looking at Heath's white hand, which had fallen over the side of the bed, and was dangling close to her. She wanted to touch it, to hold his hand, to feel like he was still there, but she knew that if she grabbed it, and he didn't grab back, then she would seal the fact that he was dead and wouldn't be coming back. Jarrod and Nick stood both staring at each other, intently. Watching the tears fall out of each other's eyes. Jarrod finally spoke up. He turned to the Doctor and addressed him, still with a quaver in his voice. "Um, I'm sorry doctor, thank you for trying, you may leave now…"

"I'm sorry Jarrod. I did everything I could…it was a miracle that he didn't die when it hit him. He had just lost too much blood to do much of anything, without risking more damage. I'm sorry, to all of you….Heath was a good man…I'm sorry…Good day.." The doctor silently nodded and left.

Nick turned to Heath's bed, and looked at his brother, laying there. "He certainly was….the best I've ever know…Don't you worry Heath, I'm going to get that boy that did this to you…I'll teach him to kill my brother…" Nick grew angry as he replaced his empty sadness with hate and vengeance.

Jarrod reached for Nick as he turned to leave the room, but Victoria found him first. "No! I will not have you go and get into a gunfight and get yourself shot too!" She let another sob come as she held Nick close to her and forbid him to go kill Evan.

"Mother! You don't understand! I've got to do this! I know that Evan did this, and I know he did it on purpose!" Nick pled his case to his mother, fighting through her grasp.

"NO! Do you hear me!? You're my son, and you'll do as I say! Now, I've already lost one too many sons today, and I wont stand for losing another!"

Nick pondered over her words, and softened, he pulled her close to himself and they cried together as they held each other tightly. Jarrod bent down and pulled up Audra, who had decided to leave Heath's hand alone, and they joined in the standing hug. They finally broke away and Jarrod addressed his family. "You're right, Nick. Heath was the best man that could've ever lived. We were mighty lucky to have him in our family, as brief as that may have been. We didn't know Heath long, but he's become just as much of my brother as Nick. And we all loved him, very very dearly," Jarrod took a teary breath. "But Mother's right, we can't just let anger take over and go do something we'll regret. Now, if Evan did indeed shoot Heath, with the intention of hitting and killing him, then I'll find a way to prove it, and we'll get him tried and convicted of murder. But we have to do this legally."

"Come on, let's go start making the arrangements for Heath's…funeral…" Victoria chocked on the last word.

Nick and Jarrod nodded, but after a glance to each other they stepped onto either side of Heath's bed. Nick gently took Heath's dangling hand and held it. He let another tear escape his eye, as he tightly clasped the hand in both of his own, and held it near to his face. Jarrod shot him a glance, and Nick softly laid the hand over Heath's chest. Jarrod smiled slightly and ran his hand through Heath's Blonde hair. After a glance, the brothers took hold of the blanket that half covered their fallen brother, and gently pulled it over his head. They stepped away from the bed and moved to exit the room. Jarrod led Audra and Victoria out, and Nick lagged behind. He carefully picked up the white hat that lay where Victoria had dropped it, and laid it carefully on Heath's covered body. He stepped away softly, and stopped to blow out the lamp, at the door.

"Heath, I'm sorry that I wasn't friendly to you when we first met, now I'm sorry that I didn't take advantage of the time we had together…I need you to know that I am glad that you came, and I respect you as a Barkley, and you're just as much one as Jarrod, or Audra, or myself. Even though I didn't accept you, you still worked to keep up more than your own share of our work…And well Brother, I guess I'm trying to say that you're just about the best man a man could ever want for a brother, and I'm happy that I got to have you as one, even if just for a few months. Well, Good Night, Brother Heath….I'm sure going to miss you…" Nick tried to say more, but the tears wouldn't stop, so he left it at goodnight, and blew out the lamps. He trudged from the room and gently closed the door behind him.

A few days later…

Heath was buried next to the grave of his father, Tom Barkley. An overwhelming portion of the valley came to mourn over him. Instead of dressing him in a typical burial outfit of fine dress clothes, the family decided that he'd be the most comfortable in his typical tan pants, boots, and his soft blue shirt, along with his thick tan vest, and of course, his treasured white sandy hat. After the undertaker laid him in his coffin, a beautiful wooden crate with polished silver handles and the Barkley brand label carved into the face of it, the family said their goodbyes in private with Heath.

No one wanted to be first to say goodbye, but Jarrod stepped up to say a few words first. The entire family couldn't suppress their tears, that day, so it took a long while for the proceedings to move along. Jarrod didn't make a long speech, or drag the painful task out any longer than it was necessary. He simply said what a wonderful brother Heath had been to him, and that he was glad that Heath had found them when he did. Nick agreed to speak to his brother next. He felt that his "goodnight" speech from before had filled the goodbye that he needed to let go of his brother, but he still gave a teary remembrance of when Heath had fully become a member of their family, facing off against the railroad, with them and also when he had led the herd of cattle alone, with only hostile men to help him, but he still showed his loyalty and devotion to what was now his name. Audra couldn't speak much about it, she was too distraught; so, she simply said that she loved him, and softly kissed his pale face, and brushed her hand across his cheek, in love. Victoria was the last one to say goodbye before they closed the coffin and buried him, so she stepped forward and hovered over Heath, the entire time she spoke.

"Heath was an honest, gracious, loving man. Of course he could be angry at times, lose his temper….but he always was gentle and kind with our family. And even though I didn't know him as my son, until just recently, I feel as though he were my true son, and hope everyone else feels that way too. When he came to the valley, Heath was different. He was hard and brash, wild and desperate…but I like to think it was because he was alone. He had never had a father, nor much of a family, so when he came looking for his rightful inheritance, he didn't understand what the influence would be on the family. He offered to just take his share and go, but gradually, we accepted him into our home as one of our own, and he did the same for us. In these short months, he has proved numerous times that he deserved to be called a Barkley, and he showed his honor and loyalty in being one of us. And I hope that all of us, and everyone here in the valley remember him as one of us, and not some half breed drifter that came in and stole a place in our home, because he wasn't. He earned our name and a place in our family, along with our trust, and most of all our love, with that of his own. He trusted, cared for, and loved all of us…and I so much adore him back for accepting us, too. So, Heath, you are my son, and I will forever remember and cherish you as such. I love you, Heath Barkley….thank you, for coming to us.." Victoria stopped occasionally in her speech, to wipe her tears and hold back the lump in her throat. She leaned over Heath and pressed her soft lips onto his face, and gave her final goodbye to her son.

Jarrod, Nick and Audra rose from their seats in the dim room and all came to Victoria and Heath. The group tightly embraced, sharing their tears and sorrow. Nick and Jarrod gently led the ladies away from the coffin, and nodded for the undertaker to seal it up. He too was crying as he gently placed the cherry colored wood over the rest and nailed it firmly in place. Heath was carried out by a few other workers and was placed in a wagon to drive up to the hill where Tom Barkley was killed. Victoria had decided to bury him there, instead of the distant graveyard, that way they could do their mourning for both men, together, in peace. After the burial, The Barkleys went home to their ranch, and every one of them went to their own room to cry themselves to sleep…even Nick and Jarrod.

Three nights later, Nick killed Evan in a gunfight. Although he was cleared of any charges, as before the whole town, in the street, Evan drew on him first. He was drunk and he was yelling about how he was glad that Heath was dead, and he wished that all Barkleys were dead. He staggered into the street, where he saw Nick, speaking with the sheriff on the other side of the street. He began yelling at Nick, warning him, and threatening him. There was tension in the air. All of the other people had run for cover, and crowded into windows to see what would result of the fight. Nick was tempted to just gun down Evan right there, for killing Heath, but he remembered what Jarrod had told him, and he gently approached Evan, saying that he was drunk and he should just go home and sleep it off, but Evan just got madder and drew his gun. He aimed in the short distance towards Nick's chest, as he had done with Heath, but because of his drunkenness, his mark was off, and the bullet that he sent flying barely nicked Nick's shoulder. It was a minor flesh wound, but if Evan got another shot off, he might not miss. Nick knew that now he had witnesses to say that Evan shot first, and now it was self defense, so to save his own life, and rectify his brother's, Nick drew and shot Evan with his own gun. Nick's mark was perfect. Evan was dead, and Heath was avenged. Jarrod came out of the saloon where he had been watching, and gave Nick a reassuring nod. The two glumly mounted their horses and rode off into the darkness, towards home.

**AN: So…how was my debut story to The Big Valley world of fanfiction? PLEASE REVIEW! I'd greatly appreciate it! Yes, the majority of the beginning was EXACT QUOTES from the episode: My Son, My Son…so it doesn't belong to me, only after they go for the doctor! So, thanks for reading, and again, please review!**


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